We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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