did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
