We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
