Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
