So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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