Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
