No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
