i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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