i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize