Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
