My first STD was from a foam party
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
