I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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