Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
