I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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