$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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