So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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