The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
they're like a gay fantastic four
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize