Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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