names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
