she woke up with a sticky ear
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
