It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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