i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize