My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
