I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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