I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
they need to just BURY HIM!
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
