Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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