they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
