Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
