Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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