Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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