you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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