Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
