i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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