if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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