Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
