How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize