she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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