Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
