This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
