EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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