He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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