i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
