Already got asked if we're dating
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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