I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
