One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I need to calm my uterus...
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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