Can i not drive my cunt home
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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