after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
