She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize