Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
