new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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