Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
