I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
