I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
