It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize