Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
