I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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