i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
