awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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