Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
