Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Just pee around me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
