I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
