I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
50% drunk capacity currently
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
