you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
