I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
