Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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