so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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