it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
