I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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