Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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