the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
