I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize