this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize