i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
