I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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